Georgina Chapman is speaking out for the first time since over 60 women accused her estranged husband Harvey Weinstein of sexual misconduct.
In a profile for Vogue‘s June issue, the 42-year-old fashion designer describes the emotions she’s been dealing with since the scandal first broke last fall.
“There was a part of me that was terribly naive — clearly, so naive. I have moments of rage, I have moments of confusion, I have moments of disbelief! And I have moments when I just cry for my children,” she emotionally explained. “What are their lives going to be? What are people going to say to them? It’s like, they love their dad. They love him. I just can’t bear it for them!”
Chapman claimed to the magazine that she “never” knew of her husband’s alleged behavior, making the revelations even more shocking.
“That’s what makes this so incredibly painful: I had what I thought was a very happy marriage. I loved my life,” she shared.
The Marchesa co-founder has been keeping a low profile since the scandal broke, canceling the runway show for the brand’s fall 2018 collection and calling her time out of the spotlight a “time for mourning.”
“I was so humiliated and so broken . . . that . . . I, I, I . . . didn’t think it was respectful to go out. I thought, ‘Who am I to be parading around with all of this going on?’ “she said to Vogue. “It’s still so very, very raw. I was walking up the stairs the other day and I stopped; it was like all the air had been punched out of my lungs.”
In her June editor’s letter, Anna Wintour defended Chapman.
“I am firmly convinced that Georgina had no idea about her husband’s behavior; blaming her for any of it, as too many have in our gladiatorial digital age, is wrong. I believe that one should not hold a person responsible for the actions of his or her partner,” the fashion icon wrote. “What Georgina should be receiving is our compassion and understanding.”
Wintour also praised Scarlett Johansson’s decision to wear Marchesa at Monday night’s Met Gala during a visit to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
“Georgina is a brilliant designer and I don’t think she should be blamed for her husband’s behavior,” she said. “I think it was a great gesture of support on Scarlett’s part to wear a dress like that, a beautiful dress like that, on such a public occasion.”
On Oct. 10, Chapman announced she was leaving Weinstein after 11 years of marriage in light of his sexual misconduct allegations. “My heart breaks for all the women who have suffered,” she said in a statement to PEOPLE.
In January, a source told PEOPLE that Weinstein will pay out an estimated $15 to 20 million to the designer per their divorce agreement. Chapman and Weinstein have not filed in court, despite reaching a settlement.
The pair married in 2007 and have two children together, ages 7 and 4. Weinstein also has three children from a previous marriage.
The producer has been accused of sexual misconduct by over 60 women since The New York Times and The New Yorker documented decades of alleged sexual misconduct and sexual assault involving a number of women in detailed, Pulitzer-prize winning articles in October.
A spokesperson for Weinstein previously told PEOPLE in a statement that “any allegations of non-consensual sex are unequivocally denied by Mr. Weinstein. Mr. Weinstein has further confirmed that there were never any acts of retaliation against any women for refusing his advances.”
The Vogue article also reveals that Chapman and Huma Abedin — the Hillary Clinton aide and ex of disgraced politician Anthony Weiner — have become “supertight” in the wake of the allegations against both of their husbands.
“We just . . . bonded,” Abedin told Vogue. “In allll kinds of ways. This particular club, ironically, it’s not such a small one: women who have had to endure it in such a public way, women like Georgina and me.”
Added Abdein, “People don’t feel sorry for us; you don’t get that empathy. People think you’re beautiful, you’re thin, you’re rich, you’re photographed on the red carpet, and you get stuck in this category. There’s so much more depth beyond all that with Georgina.”